Addiction/Attachment/ Attraction/Aversion
Why are humans like this?
So I’m making my cup ‘o’ tea, and I want two bags and I get out two bags and all the while I’m saying to myself both: “Don’t do it, you know that actual, tangible, physical pain is the result.” AND. “So what? It’s a day you need to accomplish things, you need this today of all days. You deserve this.”
And right up to the moment I’m putting the bags in the cup I’m gonna do it. Then I say to myself “you know you went to the Co-op and bought yourself all these herbal teas for just this reason”..... So I get out the Caffe Roast and I add a bag instead of the other second bag. Then I’m all like “I fucking hate Caffe Roast, it smells weird.” When in reality I quite like Caffe Roast because its spicy and reminiscent of black tea, you can add milk and it won’t curdle.
First I try to justify a wrong action
Then I beget hatred for the correct action
Then I display my puny victory to the world
Only then do I try to analyze what the hell is really going on here.....
The point is the behaviors. It could be any other thing, why do I keep seeing that person who is terrible for me? Why do I keep doing drugs? Why do I spend the food money on lottery tickets? Whatever. Whether it’s a physical addiction (which does tend to convolute the issues considerably) or just all those mental addictions of living. We just wallow in our addictions and we wallow in our struggle with them. And then should we by some chance overcome something we wallow in our preening pride of overcoming it, ignoring that there are a thousand others still exerting influence on our behaviors.
You know the Buddhist’s are all about the addictive/attachment behaviors and the really bad results that occur. But I am nowhere on that yet, I study it all the time and I still don’t get why it’s just so naturally occurring in pretty much everyone. I also don’t quite get how one is supposed to overcome the really deep rooted addictions, the sly, subtle addictions of the soul. I know A LOT about curing physical addictions and even the general surface neurosis that go with it. But those ones that keep us spinning on the wheel, I’m just not clear yet.
Why are humans like this?
posted by Stella Magdalen @ 12/29/2005 10:57:00 AM
4 Comments:
I only really watch my behavior that closely when I have free time, like now.
"Why did I just do that when I know that I should be soing this?"
Then I want me to back off.
In Berglerian Analysis (the most buddhist type therapy I've every encountered) the first answer is conscious and unconscious masochism. Inherent in all humans. Solution? Awareness, followed by compassion for self. FIGHTING addications tends to work poorly. Compassion brings the energy down, makes the need for self-abuse less.
Practice practice practice.
Meditators tend to get it faster.
Over the last 20 plus years I've seen more results with this than any other method. AA has a similar idea, not always brought to the front though.
"Then I want me to back off"
Ahh, a subtle art of which I have limited mastery...
"Concious and sub concious masochism, inherent in all humans"
Yes, but why? Why the inherentness? I simply must someday discern THAT. I know myriad techniques to have a go at the resulting behaviors with, but the "why are humans like this" is my real question.
The simplistic answer is all life is suffering - we internalize what is true externally. But then, why is all life suffering? I believe it is the nature of existence in physical form - limitations, and being mostly (but not entirely) cut off from the experience of oneness and connection that can only happen in the non-physical reality. Physical manifestion is about limitations - which becomes suffering. Why do we continue to incarnate and use the physical body? Apparently there are experiences and growth opportunities that require this level of friction and energy. But I have no idea really why. Some questions seem unanswerable while we are in physical form. We remember between, and forget before, at or soon after each birth. Must be an interesting answer since it doesn't seem to be a concept we can maintain while we are incarnate.
So perhaps the answer to "why are humans like this" can actually be answered "because we are human". The process of asking the question and considering the possible answers is helpful. Maybe even enlightening.
- your sister
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