Cooking, calming, clearing

The other day when the anxiety started getting bad, I vacillated on taking “the pill”. I meant to and then forgot. But as the day went on I became more and more anxious. After grocery shopping I decided to try something different. I went in the kitchen and just cooked and cooked for a couple of hours. Acorn squash, beets, sweet and sour beet greens, chicken stock, potatoes, preparing the cilantro for making cilantro chutney (today).

Eh Voila the anxiety dissipated. It wasn’t about eating, I never really got a chance to eat more than a quick dinner. It was really about chopping shit, counting endlessly counting, the knife strokes and the number of pieces of this or that. The creative processes of thinking about which approach and seasoning to go with on each food. The movements, the focusing on efficiency and the economy of movement. The getting out of one head and into another. Connecting with my kitchen muse and completely letting go in a very controlled and focused way. I freakin’ LOVE cooking. It is actually a really good reason to love the weather change. I can finally get back into my kitchen, turn on the stove and get happy again.