This is your brain on fear
See, this is how my mind works. I’m all going along, being really glad I can’t seem to catch up with the Dr. as planned, to coordinate this whole “let’s get you started on insulin thing.” I suppose I’m really thinking that if we can’t connect, maybe it just won’t really happen.
So when after dutifully doing all the phone calling that I had reluctantly agreed to do, I actually get hold of her, and she’s all like,
“oh yeah, all the gear was ordered and is waiting for you at the pharmacy, I’ll see you at 4:30 for your instructional”
So what do I do at the pharmacy?
Buy a big handful of on sale Easter candy and a Russell Stover chocolate Bunny. Because, HEY! I never got to bite anybody's ears off this year yet anyway, I DESERVE this, and so I eat Dove chocolate truffle eggs on the way to the clinic.
Where I have a complete (OK, 3/4s) melt down dealing with the learning to stick myself thing.
She’s giving me Atavan for the just in case of complete phobic nervous breakdown factor.
Atavan is our friend.
posted by Stella Magdalen @ 4/18/2006 10:27:00 PM
6 Comments:
It is a strange irony that we often find our worst fears come around again in a different and challenging form -- and in this case it will help you have a healthier happier life to do regular injections. Yep, it totally sucks that you have to do this, but it will help your body survive and also to heal.
You've also set up a more direct cause/effect feedback system. Exercise and diet that includes the great stuff (omega 3 rich food, vegetables esp. dark green leafys, infusions, complex carbs incl. oatmeal for breakfast, healthy protein, walnuts and almonds) and excludes sugar, white flour, trans fats, hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, white potatoes, and most processed foods will give you the immediate pay off of less needles that day.
The next few weeks are likely to be really hard -- your brain has to adjust and then there is the whole needle thing. Sure, use the drugs, but don't forget to ask your friends and family and teachers and blog readers and other people for help and understanding and just plain support.
I'm walking every day and kayaking at least twice a week. Let me know if you want to join in any time. Swimming is about a month away.
-your sister
Kayaking + swimming + sailing = good, clean, fun
Everything is a linear equation now....
And if you kayak poorly it will naturally develope into swimming.
Which is totally fine come late May, not necessarily something I'd want at this very moment...
Ativan can indeed be your friend.
Also, please note my dear, that once an insulin needle user, not permanently an insulin needle user. When our mutual friend (who went into hospital yesterday) first got diagnosed with Diabetes type 2, he was popping those needles 3 times a day. (this was years and years ago). He got into good then better management, and over time, actually stopped having to take insulin, he could regulate the situation so well. Now, when he got very very depressed and began to seriously neglect his health, this health management practice went totally south. But you can get to the other side of this challenge, pal. It just ain't gonna be easy. But we love you and we will help in whatever way you allow us to help. A year from right now, you could be astonished at how good and strong and needle-free you feel.
Also, when you are a therapist, and you have mastered this challenge, you will be in a position to inspire and mentor many many people who have similar health challenges. A good Mahayana practical goal for getting healthier.
Remember, corporate America wants you to stay sick. Means more money in their pockets. Beat the system by regaining your health. (ok, that's all the editorializing for this post!).
love, hugs
lizard and filmkid
True dat, the bro Mr Science is also an example of that, as he goes on and off, depending on management.
I have successfully done it 3 days now, the panic attacks lessening each day... so....
The injection sites hurt afterwards though, thats annoying. (And a little creepy).
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