Paralysis

So the almost $400.00 heat bill had struck me down like polio and I had become paralyzed by inertia. The amount of homework I got in my first week piled in on top like a scrum. The housework was getting out of control, between all of that and trying to get other work done I was just plain oppressed. You can frequently ascertain where I am at psychically by looking at my dining room table and, if you can find it, my list of phone calls that are waiting to be made. If you can’t find that, the number of un-listened to messages on my machine are another indicator.

I just get overwhelmed. Then the key is to piece by piece take apart the great rock holding me down. It really becomes a matter of just chipping away at different faces and from different angles until it starts levitating, then go at it harder as my will gains strength until it either turns into a pebble or something else piles on and turns it back into a boulder.

It feels like a constant, the chipping, the growing and the diminishing.

I do know one thing though, if EVER I have money, I am going to pay people to do the housework. There are people who like it and there are people needing work and I will be more than happy to provide them an outlet for those odd desires.