Sunday Morning Subtle But Obvious Organized Self Abuse Swim Club

I have a lot of memories, I seem to not be able to shut up the monkey mind, I over analyze. I now get to do all that while learning to type.

Friday, October 07, 2005

"Who will buy, this wonderful morning?"



I have been challenged to something by someone claiming to be Illuminati over on another site I hang out on. I’m not sure what the challenge is though, something about opening my head or something. I am definitely not interested in opening my head to some stranger, either physically, mentally or spiritually. I already let 2 strangers open my guts and we see where that got us.

It’s really hard to tell what's what with those type people (or not people as the case may be be), because it seems like part of the game is to kerfluffle one with these crazy big ass words that cause you to spend so much time trying to divine the actual intent of that one word that you can’t keep up with the conversation and therefore they get the idea that they are like winning, or superior or powerful or in control or something, whatever their agenda is.
It makes me wanna go sic my big brother Mr. Science on them. He's already brilliant that way. He’s really good at not getting flustered and hung up on the details. And if he actually doesn’t get it, he can just spin out a matching stream of bull to set them on their ear while he reloads.
I wish I had that skill. I might be better at it on the net where no one can see my face getting all red, and the tears of frustration starting to form. I have this really open face where I can’t hide shit.
This is another reason why I don’t bother to lie, as well as that the energy required to track the lies seems wasted to me.

Another thing is that I have learned to keep a lot of stuff on the DL. I used to be REALLY flamboyant and open and while it occasionally did bring me into contact with amazing people, it caused me to spend an awful lot (the majority in fact) of time beating off the suckers. And when I would get to have a conversation with some VERY interesting person, they would inevitably mostly just warn me to pull my shit back, be more discreet and that was about it.

And here's one more thing, while as a general rule I’m pretty anthrophobic and I’m not so very fond of humans in a general sense. I’m pretty much for them inherently. I absolutely do think they have innate birthrights and potentials. Even if most of them are not utilizing such. So trying to get me to betray them or something by using my fear and discomfort against them is just not going to fly. It’s been pretty well established that I’m not buying the power lie in this lifetime.
Oh, and that is NOT an invitation to catch me in another life. Get it?

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