Freak of the week
On ear worm inner radio this AM:
Blue Condition - Cream
Yesterday: I Got Soul (and I’m super bad) - James Brown
Many vampire dreams last night as well as some weird love affair I was involved in, in Kenya, with a very tall Masai man. He kept jumping up in the middle of conversations to run into the bush to hang around with giraffes.
I was talking with the beloved English teacher after class yesterday, and she was saying that she found it odd that I wasn’t talking much in class. I really went out on a limb and outed myself when I told her an abbreviated version of essentially:
“I have been going through a strange head space lately. In class discussion last Tuesday, we were discussing stuff I actually know quite a lot about, songs of creation, Vedic and Buddhist texts, cultural perspectives etc. I just got really frustrated at the inability of the majority of people to extract themselves from their dominant paradigm and perceive the writings from something other than a monotheist, creator god, perspective. Or to be able to notice the interrelatedness of creation stories and grasp the idea that they are all historically interconnected and primarily derived one from the other. Also some even were reading the text incorrectly to support their preexisting structures. All of this caused me to start looking at myself and ask who the hell am I and why am I such a freak in this world?”
I told her that I felt really weird, having been a street kid, a junkie and a prostitute and having probably tripped nearly a thousand times. Having come out the other side intact and with so much information churning around in here, that I feel so out of place, not just at school but in the world. And that I was subdued in order to prevent myself jumping up on a table and shouting at them to wake the fuck up.
Her replies were so funny and characteristic of her:
(A) Hmm, jumping on tables, do you suppose that works?
(B) Well, you must have known from the beginning you weren’t mainstream.
All said in her quiet, deadpan. She’s good at her job. Really calm and objective.
I don’t know, I guess I’m just whining or something, but sometimes it’s hard to be me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully cognizant that it’s frequently just as hard to be you as well.
posted by Stella Magdalen @ 1/25/2006 07:44:00 AM
6 Comments:
I get that too and I've never even been to Hell and back.
Sometimes I get the impression that being intelligent is not always polite. Yet I both envy and look down on the normals.
What's ear worm inner radio?
Ear worm inner radio is when I wake up and there is already a song playing over and over in my head. It's just there upon waking for no discernible reason, except that it's frequently totally apropos.
Blogger has been annoying for like 20 hours and wouldn't let me post, so I'm running a day late and a dollar short but what else is new?
Please forgive if this is an overshare, but I often used to get a refractory song in my head. No telling what it would end up being either.
Ok now it's my turn, whats a refractory song?
doubt you could overshare given my recent posts which I suspect are some serious overshare...
I'm about to have a major computer issue- until I get a new power supply I'll have to limit my on time.
Hopefully I'll get achance to hear your definition....
It's a song that appears in one's head during that post-coital refractory period.
It's not something one can easily talk about. Like just after saying "Oh, The Fall." Not too romantic.
Ahhh, that refractory. I had this tangled image of prisms and crystal radios going on, it was quite confusing and yet interesting.
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