The revolution will not:

Look like YOU think it should or
Judge itself by your standards
Play that mutual masturbation, ego, game you and your friends love so well
Fail without your innovative ideas
Have you for it’s great and glorious leader
Even acknowledge your genius
Define itself by group think
Need a new age guru or psychic consultant to tell it what to do
Get it’s sustenance from granola, seitan, unicorns and crystals
Have a seminar or workshop
Want a full body massage to prep it
Need a liver cleanse and high colonics after
Create space and respect your boundaries
Limit itself to what you can handle
Wait while you grab your bottle of Rescue Remedy
Hold hands and sing Kumbayah
Chat you up without trying to fuck you
Conduct itself according to Kathleen Hannah’s criteria
Act like a well orchestrated event/march/picket
Hire some good PR then
Watch to see how much press it got
Be a duly photographed, and filed away moment,
Happening only at a location near you.
Remain smoke free
Be neat and tidy
Magically fix your life
Acknowledge your charitable contributions
Keep your children from turning on you
Teach tolerance
Stay “safe and sane”
Prescribe you vicodine for your existential pain and mid-life angst
Refrain from hurting your feelings or offending your sensibilities
Realize it’s the weekend and stop calling
Open a center, anywhere
Allow you to “have it your way”
Brand itself for distribution at your nearest Stop-n-Shop
Stay off your lawn
Leave you alone
Do you any special favours
Tell you your dog is cute
Wash your dishes for you
Get you a tax write off
Just “let it go”