Mmm fresh hearts

God, I pray for all of you that you may be free from the suffering of schizophrenia. For you or anyone you care about. That is just one heartless bitch.

My partner, my lover, my best friend suffers from it. It is relentless and terrifying.
And I am completely humbled in the face of it. The idea that it can be talked through is nowhere and right now it is just one long tightrope of trying not to say the wrong thing and therefore become an enemy.

This idea that one of the coolest people I have ever known could just be twisted and turned at the whim of some fucking organic cycling syndrome and be almost completely at its mercy, (thank god he has one of the most profound stubborn streaks known to man, or it could be worse). It’s just heartrending.
And that it should have reemerged and resurfaced right now, at one of the worst possible times for us, when I’m trying really hard to accomplish something to help us get out of this fucking poverty cycle, well, it almost makes me believe in the conspiracy.
So, while I AM 99% sure it is an organic issue, if I ever WAS to find out that certain people were doing psychological experimentation of that nature through use of ELF or whatever, I would find you, and rip your fucking hearts out and crush them under my boot, still beating.