Mama's lil pagan loves shortening days rituals

Wednesday, Dali and I went to Rinpoche’s birthday party. As usual it was amazing. The cooks had apparently picked up the Martha Stewart cookbook and decided to make every appetizer listed. Crazy stuff. I really loved the stuffed endives. Also, whoever made the cheesy artichoke dip was smart enough to make a deep, fat, crock of it. That stuff always flies like mad.

I got to see my mentor/ therapist, and monopolize a lot of her time as I hadn’t seen her since last years party. She was beyond thrilled to hear that the reason she’d been seeing me hanging around the bus stop was to go to school.
Afterwards, all of a sudden, I felt this huge weird weight of responsibility hanging over me. Like OK all these people are watching me now and if I fuck up it will be a big deal.

Ya know either alcohol is weird or I am. Thursday night I was the cheapest date ever. One stiff drink and a couple of puffs and I was just lit. And somehow able to reduce Dali to a laughing, weeping mass on his kitchen floor. I’m still not sure what happened there.

Friday we had a damn good rehearsal. Things were just really clicking, sometimes having a little break is good.

But then last night, after having a bit of a meltdown when I thought I was not going to be able to go to the bonfire, I made myself a thermos of vodka tonics to take with, and went off to the jam. And basically drank a little over a half pint of vodka and had really nothing more than a pleasant glow, and no ill effects this AM. So this is not the first time I’ve noticed that phenomena, that the effects seem to have a lot more to do with ones initial head space as you start drinking.

The bands were good. The Czars were really fun. They’ve added some slick little stage moves to the act and that was a real crowd pleaser. I asked my friend Nina, whose SO Brent, is in the band, who that new guy was? She’s like, “Brian Ellinger”. Duh. I was all like “hmmm, fresh cutie” and it’s someone I’ve known since high school. Figures. I’m not particularly the cheatin’ type but I does like me a little flirt, flirt, nudge, nudge, now and again. There was a little of that but the pickins were slim. As is to be expected when everybody has known each other for years and the majority have been married, in some form, for years and years. I met a couple of cool people as well as seeing the regulars.

Just sitting and staring into the fire for a couple hours would have been a sad lack in my winter worn soul if I had skipped it this year.
I needs me my pagan rituals to somehow gather strength and keep me grounded and aware of the seasonal progression. That reminder that I am (in part) a body that is wound onto the earth clock and has some of it’s own spiritual needs on it’s cellular levels. It just needs to be roasted in front and frozen in back for a couple of hours each year to work right and stay somewhat happy.
And after staring at the cathode tubes for months and months, my eyes just need to be filled exclusively with firelight for awhile to refresh them.
The stars were brilliant too. Nice to be out of the city.

Ok back to the cathode tube - I am not sure what I am seeing here. If I’m not mistaken, it’s a japanimation cartoon about a Santa’s reindeer which has attained morphing super powers. Oh, WTF?