You fellas prolly just won’t give a damn about this one.

I’ve changed my hair for the first time in over twenty years. Yup. Since 1988 I’ve just been letting it grow, on it’s own, all naturally. Then occasionally hacking off a couple inches from the bottom myself. I sort of just didn’t care any more for cuts and styles after the several years of several insane do’s in the eighties. The most notorious of which was probably the horse’s mane. This was - head shaved up to each side to the crown, leaving about a 5 inch strip of foot long hair which was then dyed in black and red stripes, across not down. Perfectly hideous. Probably one of the ugliest things I could have come up with. But I was feeling pretty ugly there in 1987, probably one of the worst years of my life, that and 1986.

Suddenly I decided I wanted change. But change I could live with. Something easy and low maintenance. Something that covered up the miles of pallid forehead that I was hating in pictures. But I was frightened Auntie Em.
I went yesterday and got bangs cut in despite all that fear. And guess what? Bangs are kicky. Bangs are cute. Bangs are just what the doctor ordered. I would totally post a photobooth picture if that wasn’t going to give away the secret identity.
The only thing is, now I think I will actually need to purchase a piece of equipment and that just really goes against my nature. I think I am going to have to have a curling iron. If I was able to avoid that scene in the seventies getting one now seems REALLY odd. I think that is just the price I am going to have to pay.
Pray for me that I don’t manage to burn the house down.

The real thing

Something I’ve come to appreciate while watching “The Best Of Soul Train”, aside from the fact that people no longer wear lime green, yellow and orange plaid suits, with matching bow ties, is a room full of real breasts (dancing).

I also really miss the hey day of those amazing, blowout ‘fros. Like the one the main protagonist in “Carwash” had (can’t remember his characters name). They just look so soft and pretty. Put one on top of a really cute guy in those ‘70’s overalls we all wore, and that just makes me happy. If he’s doing “the rock” or the “pop lock”, even better.

2 or 3 hours later

Here’s a recipe we like:
(1) Start with a good going over with Rachel Perry Perfectly Clear Herbal Antiseptic.

(2) Apply pore strips (according to directions)

(3) Make a good masque. Mine was Rachel Perry Clay & Ginseng mixed with some kind of Mexican clay. All the way up to and including my ear stretches.

(4) Somewhere in this process decide to throw on a couple tubes of hot oil into hair.

(5) Throw a few tablespoons of Swiss Kriss in a steel pot of with a couple inches of boiling, filtered water. Steam head under towels till sweating profusely (and if you’re like me drooling just a little).

(6) Get a big, good lighted mirror, tweeze everything annoying and gently remove white and blackheads that are vulnerable for the first time in ages.

(7) Apply another pore strip or two for good measure while everything is steamed and loosened.

(8) Take a nice shower with a sisal glove and Kiss My Face Olive Oil soap sloughing.
Wash out oil with Pure Shampoo and Pure Rosemary/Mint conditioner. Pumice and alladat.

(9) Apply Rachel Perry Violet Rose Toner and Nutrimin Reversing Gelee transforming lift for eyes.

(10) Trim hair

(11) Finish face with Rachel Perry Calendula - Cucumber oil free moisturizer with echinacea.
Cover rest of self with Aloe 80 Lotion.

(12) Put on your all clean, all best, underwear.

(13) Pick out very cute outfit.

(14) Polish boots

(15) Feel pretty damn good.

I may be pretty masculine but I am a pretty good metrosexual as well.

Fug it

I think I’ll give my self a serious facial as well or quite possibly instead.